For Such a Time as This: Challenges of Past and Future

Conference Minister's Address 1999

Davida Foy Crabtree As many of you know, I have become personally reacquainted with grief this year. So I want to begin by thanking you for the ministries of hundreds of members of this Conference to me in the aftermath of my mother's death. Your messages of support and caring, the knowledge that you were praying for her and for me, have meant the world to me. I thank you for being a loving community during a difficult time.

As I have undertaken my grief work, I have recognized the various stages as they have woven themselves through my days and nights. First there was the shock of her death and the outward expression of my sorrow. Then all those times when I expected to hear her voice, my own form of denial. An inability to trust my feelings and sometimes an unwillingness to connect deeply because of a kind of vulnerability in my soul. A pulling back of energy, a waiting and seeing whether I could accept and live with this new reality. A gradual re-engagement with life, and stepping up the pace. Then, a wracking grief again, and reentry. Most of you know the experience.

As a pastor, it was my habit to visit the grieving weekly for the first four weeks, then about twice a month for a while, then in the sixth month and around the anniversary. Always I reminded people that each person grieves differently, that it is important to continue grieving and to take the time to accept this new reality. I visited them that frequently because I knew that a time of grief is a time of spiritual struggle, of coming to grips with God in a new way.

In the course of these seven months of grief work, I have also recognized again the signs of a grieving experience in the life of this Conference. I think it is worthy of being named. I will not stay with this metaphor long; there are other things I want to say. Yet I think this is important.

This Conference has been in a state of grief repeatedly for the past ten years. Our Conference Minister was asked to resign in 1989 because of allegations of an affair. The Board of Directors at that time, not knowing what we know now about the debilitating effects of secrets in the church's life, chose to keep the reasons quiet on the grounds that it was a confidential personnel matter. Ever since then, this Conference has been reeling from grief. It was the grief of having a leader disappear suddenly from our life. It was the grief of not knowing whether the Conference Minister or Conference staff could be trusted again. It was the grief of not knowing whether the Board of Directors could be trusted.

Then the Conference called a new Conference Minister, who arrived as the newcomer with a very different style among a long term staff. Although the staff I inherited in my former position had not been together as long as this one had, I can testify to the effects of being in that position. In three years, he moved on to a national leadership position. And the issues of building relationships, of looking at the future, of grieving in a different way, moved to the front burner. Most of you know that this Conference then went through a time of tumultuous conflict as a series of well-intended decisions by the Board of Directors went awry and were challenged by the associations. Special meetings of the Conference were called; decisions were unmade. New decisions were made in 1995 about the direction of the Conference and its style of ministry, about its staffing and the structure of the Board of Directors. You called a new Conference Minister again in 1996, and in the past two and a half years, an almost entirely new staff - of the full time staff with 16 people, 3 were here three years ago. Of the part time staff of 20 people, 4 were here then.

I look at this series of events, and I look at the experience our staff is having among you, and I see an extended grief process at work. Shock, perplexity, denial, tentative acceptance, turmoil, anger, distrust, vulnerability, and gradually an emerging health and re-engagement with life and mission. It's all there.

I have said in my annual report that we appear to be in a cycle of rising expectations, and that's a good place to be. I do believe we are emerging from the worst of the grief, and healing is beginning. Yet, as in our personal lives, former stages of grief remained intertwined with the new for a long time. Some among you have commented to me how wonderful it is to have the conflict overcome and the trust rebuilt. I receive that word with joy. Yet I confess to you that I believe it will take my entire ministry with you, and perhaps more, to accomplish that.

I have chosen to name this grieving process and to be as explicit as I have been because I think it is essential in order for us to move on. I know that some may take issue with my interpretation of various events, but on the whole after three years serving you, I believe my description is pretty accurate. I've asked myself several times why I am doing this now; why didn't I do this two years ago? My conclusion is that it has only been as I have gone through the grief process myself that I have been able to find a way to talk about this that is constructive for all of us. I hope I'm right about that. Its purpose is to name it, not to debate it; to name it and then to get us focused once again on the real reason we are here at all!

You have received a report of an evaluation that has been conducted of the early stages of implementation of the new design for the Conference. We have known for some time that certain elements of the design were not working as well as the designers had hoped. Adjustments are needed and the board and staff will be working on those in this next year.

Part of the grieving process for a great many people is the loss of the security of knowing how the system works. We were all comfortable for many years in having the same basic organizational structure and staff in place. I cannot stress enough the complete transformation in our life, mission and way of being that the 1995 vote called for. It did not call only for a few structural changes here and there. Everything in our life is new. So it is inevitable that there will be strains and stresses, that discomfort will rise at first as the implementation progresses. It is rather reminiscent of the Israelites wanting to go back to Egypt at times!

Nevertheless, there are some exciting signs of ways in which it will work well. The Southeastern Region recently held a day of training for deacons, sparked by the good leadership of John Wilson at Westbrook, and 130 people came! Two of our regions have had youth events which were great successes. A number of churches have clustered for events focused on parish nursing and other topics.

Some regions have had mission fairs with rich workshops and great reviews. We are beginning to learn how to gather our churches so you can resource each other.

This is one of the shifts in our life, from the Conference-in-Hartford as a teacher among the churches to the Conference-of-the-churches as a learning community together.

Another shift has been from five area ministers to three regional ministers. After two full years of leadership from three experienced and highly effective regional ministers, I am beginning to conclude that their jobs are inhuman. We had hoped they would be able to phase in and out of various elements of their position descriptions, but that has not proved possible. When a regional minister faces over 20 search committees, three serious conflicts and a misconduct case, and is still expected to be present at five clergy meetings, five church and ministry committee meetings and provide pastoral consultation, we have an impossible situation on our hands. This too will need to be evaluated during this year.

Enough. There are other things to be said tonight. We'll be working at these for a few years to come. While God is infinitely patient, I suspect God of impatience at times as well. Let's not try God's patience by spending too much time on internal organizational grief!

Progress in Mission

God has called us to be a community of faith engaged in mission to offer life-giving transformation to the world. We claim the name of Jesus Christ and seek to be his body in the midst of Connecticut in the midst of God's world. So are we re-engaging life and mission yet?

The answer is a resounding YES!

You just heard me describe the amazing work our regional ministers are doing under difficult conditions at best. And you have heard the progress our office for program and resources has made in helping us become a learning community. Our specialists are offering consultation tailor made to local situations in Christian Education, youth ministry, planned giving, and stewardship. Our cadre of trained consultants have helped a good number of churches this year face into difficult conflict, with a hope of resolution and health. They have also worked with some churches in strategic planning. Our public policy advocate has kept the legislature's feet to the fire for justice at the capitol. Our ministers with retired clergy have made pastoral calls and intervened in times of crisis. Our mission among the churches in Connecticut is lively and fruitful.

So is our mission beyond Connecticut. This past year we sent $2 million out to work in God's world through Our Church's Wider Mission. That was the largest amount of any Conference of the UCC, which is the way it has been for years and years. Lest we rest on our laurels, however, our treasurer will have some additional perspectives on that fact for us tomorrow morning.

That money is crucially important in carrying out God's mission through the United Church of Christ. Yet it is my guess that at least 85,000 of our 100,000 people in Connecticut have no clue what it is doing, and not because we haven't tried to help them understand! It is an uphill struggle in these times to get people to think globally, to encourage them to act cooperatively, and to understand that we are one community in Christ. I think, though, that we are beginning to make some progress. When I travel to our churches, I try to tell stories of the mission, and I find great response among our members. Yet often as not, they tell me they haven't heard anything about the mission in a long time. Pastors, this is a part of your responsibility - to be aware of the global and national mission of the church and to teach about it in the church you serve. If you don't know, call us, we'll help you learn!

As one who has seen the mission at work in Southern California, Montana, Nevada, Mississippi, Florida, Tennessee, Ohio and dozens of other places around this nation, I can testify to its effectiveness. As one who has been to India and Indonesia, to Kenya and Uganda, to Peru and Venezuela, to Egypt and Israel, to El Salvador and Mexico, to Japan, the Philippines, Taiwan and Korea, I can testify to the life-giving work of the United Church of Christ around the globe. If you have never visited a mission setting, you must do it.

Yet God calls us to be in mission as the Missionary Society of Connecticut not only among our churches and out beyond our borders. God wants us to be a witness right here. And we are, of course, through the creative and inspiring ministries of our churches. Your faithfulness in ministering with the poor is phenomenal. Everywhere I go I see signs of soup kitchens and shelters, of responses to requests for letters to legislators, signs of fast and generous response to disasters all over the world.

Little did I know when I issued the challenge and the plea at last Annual Meeting for our churches to resettle refugees that so many human and natural disasters would overtake us in the ensuing months. Fifteen of our churches have stepped forward in recent months to help resettle refugees. Seventy people have found homes among us, thanks to these fifteen churches. I'd like to ask the delegates and pastors of these churches to stand and be recognized as I call your church's name:

Westbrook, the Bah family of four from Sierra Leone
Chester, the Conton family of 2 from Sierra Leone
Warburton, the Osho-Williams family of 3 from Sierra Leone
Farmington, the Williams family of 3 from Sierra Leone
Greenfield Hill, the Hanciles family of 2 from Sierra Leone

A number of the Sierra Leonian families will be with us as we bless the Amistad tomorrow, so be sure to give them a special welcome.

Simsbury, the Fatic family of 4 from Bosnia
Canton Center, the Subasic family of 4 from Bosnia
Orange, the Talic family of 3 from Bosnia
Cheshire, the Rezamand family of 3 from Iran
Wapping in South Windsor, the Shareef family of 3 from Afghanistan
Guilford, the Kamara family of 2 from Liberia and the Baak family of 1 from Sudan
South Church in Middletown, the Samardzija family of 3 from Serbia
Stafford Springs, the Bozickovic family of 4 from Serbia.

And listen to these two:

Woodstock, two families of ten people from Kosovo, the Ajetes
Saugatuck in Westport, five families of 12 people from Kosovo: the Gemaji, Neziri, Meta and Rexhepi families

We are pleased to recognize all of you for your outstanding efforts in hospitality ministries in the name of Jesus Christ!

As local churches, you are the mission arm of the United Church of Christ in your community or neighborhood, and I am personally proud of you!

Through our cooperation as a Conference we are often able to accomplish some things no one church could do alone. We're starting a new Korean church. We're helping the Amistad to be built. We're supporting a special ministry with the churches started after the Civil War by our missionaries. We're building fish ponds for a new industry among the dispossessed of Colombia, and helping their children adjust to being homeless and uprooted, if such a thing is possible. We're helping build affordable housing, advocating for the poor and the working poor. We've helped bring together our ministers in Hartford in response to a community tragedy. We're supporting campus ministers all across the state, and working ecumenically on criminal justice issues, small church ministries, and many other concerns.

Davida Foy Crabtree Yes, this Conference is engaged in mission and ministry in exciting and important ways! Yes, a resounding yes!

Yet there are still challenges before us. Of course there are challenges before us. That's how God works! I want to name three tonight that I think have a special claim on us for such a time as this.

Ministry and Mission in Urban Settings

The first is ministry and mission in urban settings.

In the scriptures, the city is often the locus of God's saving grace. Whether it is Jerusalem or another, time and again, God is recorded as seeking the shalom of the city. It is in the city that human community is tested with its greatest challenges. The devil first takes Jesus to the wilderness and then to the city when he wants to tempt him with ultimate power. The urban setting has been a special place and a special challenge since the beginning of time.

I doubt that I need to say much to remind us of the condition of our cities in Connecticut. Tested on several indicators for quality of life for children, Hartford, New Haven and Bridgeport all received F's. All we have to do is read the newspaper and walk the streets and we know that reality. Yet here we sit, the largest Protestant denomination in the wealthiest state in the nation. We need to be about urban ministry in a concerted way, with conviction and determination. Soup kitchens and shelters are really important, but they are not enough. There are all kinds of strategies we can undertake together, but we need to get going.

Our new design intentionally revised the boundaries of the regions so that a major urban area would be in each region. There was a hope that the Regional Ministers would galvanize the churches in each region for action. I think that is unrealistic - unless our churches are willing to stop fighting and ministers stop leaving. So tonight I want to issue a challenge: for each of the three Justice and Witness Ministry Teams to launch an urban ministry task force by January 1. I'd ask those task forces to do a quick assessment of what our churches are doing individually and ecumenically in the major and in one smaller city in each region. I'd ask these task forces to look for compelling needs that can make a difference strategically, and for opportunities for a regional strategy involving our churches as well as the Conference. It might be faith-based community organizing. It might be developing or rehabilitating housing. It might be a Face to Face strategy related to the public schools. It might be building on something that is already in place but in need of new energy and vision.

Further I'd ask that the word go out that we are looking for volunteer staff for this work - people who can give up to ten or fifteen hours a week to work with the task forces and with our new Specialist who will be working with the ministry teams. Among our 100,000 members, surely there are three people who will step forward to make a difference in this way!

God seeks the shalom of the city. God has given us Connecticut to care for. Let's do it!

Strengthening Youth Ministry

The second challenge is strengthening youth ministry.

You have heard it said that "youth are the future of the church," but I say to you youth are the church of the present every bit as much as adults are, and if I were a bishop I would ban that phrase!

Imagine a church in which youth participate in all aspects of the church's life. They are deacons, guiding the spiritual life. They are stewardship committee members, challenging the church in their giving. They are active with ministries in their daily lives as students and in their part time jobs. They meet as PF at different times during the week, and adults in the church are excited when they are invited to serve as advisors or mentors. Two or three times a year they go off on mission trips, four times a year on retreats and workcamps at Silver Lake. They build lively relationships with Jesus Christ, and don't need wrist bracelets with initials on them to remind themselves of his presence and hope in them.

Imagine a church in which youth are actually invited to use the whole building any day of the week, in which youth dig into the great social issues of the day and are not afraid to talk about their sexuality or their fears or their faith. Imagine a church in which almost every other year a young person decides to become an ordained minister. Imagine a church where their opinions about poverty or racism or global warming are taken seriously by the adults, and just last year their challenge to the adults resulted in a new mission venture.

That's a church that would be healthy, growing and hospitable for adults too!

We actually have some churches in our Conference that are making strides toward being that kind of church. Let's find them all and showcase them! Let's learn what is working and what isn't in this challenging time. Most of all, let's turn around this belief that youth ministry is too hard, that it requires at least 30 kids, or that it won't work in our town because ... whatever.

Last year, the youth council challenged us about their inclusion in Conference life. They were feeling, I think it's fair to say, neglected and unimportant. They had good reason to feel that way, and I would not be surprised if some of them are still feeling that way this year. Change is difficult at any age, and especially so when the span of time in which to assimilate the change is short. For juniors and seniors in high school, these last years in youth council have been frustrating. They could see graduation coming, but could not see what was going to happen with youth council when they left. Their sense of responsibility is strong, and I, for one, sing their praises for that!

We've taken some steps this year to double the amount of staffing we have for youth ministry, to move intentionally toward regional work, and to be sure we have funding for each region. We've had the youth rallies and workshops, and they've been great from what I hear. Our team of specialists in youth ministry will be working with each other, with Dana at Silver Lake, and in other ways with other specialists as the regions develop. We need youth ministry to be given good attention, and to be integrated with all our other work.

Imagine a Conference in which a hundred youth spend Saturday in work projects during annual meeting, where youth participate actively in the board of directors, where there's a place called Silver Lake at the heart of the Conference that youth consider theirs. That's our Conference.

Now imagine a Conference in which the youth advisors from every church in a region know each other, where resources for youth ministry are available on line on the web, where three youth are actively involved with national youth ministries. Imagine a Conference where association youth rallies have to be held in the largest churches because so many kids turn out, where there is a youth delegate from every single church to the Conference annual meeting. Imagine a Conference in which the youth of one region decide to invite the youth groups from all the African American, Hispanic and Pacific Asian churches in their region, regardless of denomination, to come to one of their events. That could be our Conference!

So tonight I want to challenge the local church ministry teams in each region to work with the youth specialists. Spin off an advisory group on youth ministries drawn from around the region and encourage them to look at two things first: the networking of advisors and youth leaders through training events and rallies, and the development of some regional mission trips or work camps. Consider association events, and clusters of churches in geographic areas.

Youth ministry has been at the heart of the Connecticut Conference for at least 50 years. I can bear personal testimony to that fact, as can Kent Siladi, John Thomas, and a host of others. As a matter of fact, who else here tonight grew up in the youth ministries of this Conference? If you grew up at all!

Youth ministries are not an option on a menu of choices. They are at the heart of the gospel and central to the life of the church. Their renewal is an urgent mission. That mission is not about the future of the church. But it is about the future of humanity and the future of our faith. The violence and racism which pervade our society will only get worse if we do not reach this generation with God's great story of love and redemption.

Building Up Silver Lake Conference Center

The third challenge we face is building up Silver Lake Conference Center for its ministry in the new millenium.

Forty two years ago, this Conference purchased Silver Lake as a conference center for youth, thanks to the leadership of Jim Yee. The original buildings were already at least 50 years old then. We are still using most of them! Over the years, we have added a lot, thanks to the stewardship of Alden and Ruth Tyrol, great saints of this Conference. Yet even those more recent buildings are in need of restoration and repair. I spent a week at the Lake this summer co-leading the new Family Conference, and suddenly realized that it was 38 years ago that I helped clear the land for the Retreat Center. No wonder it needs some help!

In these next few years, we need to get Silver Lake equipped for ministry in the new millenium. It's a little tired after 42 years. We need to raise significant money - by which I mean several million dollars - to spruce up, meet contemporary codes, replace some cabins, add some new facilities, and replace the water system. We need to increase weekday use, and get our churches better at keeping their reservations so we don't lose money on weekends.

Our summer conference program is excellent. We have had to make some changes for safety's sake and for better administration. Some of them have not been popular with everyone. Our conviction, however, has been that they are necessary changes in order to ensure the Lake's future. All across the nation, beloved denominational camps have had to be sold because they didn't adapt. We cannot take that risk. So we change as little as possible, wanting to preserve the traditions, yet still position Silver Lake as a vital center for ministry.

Eighteen months ago, we launched a board of directors dedicated just to Silver Lake. This was one way of keeping it still fully a part of the Conference and its ministry, yet giving it the attention it deserves. That board has been leading a strategic planning process, looking at personnel issues, trying to see its way to a balanced budget, and giving oversight to both summer and winter programs. I am pleased with our progress. And I celebrate the gifts Dana and Mike bring to Silver Lake.

The two most urgent needs in my opinion are (1) to raise the dollars needed for the facilities, and (2) to get Silver Lake used during the week from September to June. The first one you can immediately understand. Let me address the second.

If the Lake is only used on weekends, then it has to be filled to capacity every weekend in order to make ends meet. Even then, it is questionable that we can balance the budget without a big increase in fees. But if we can develop either an environmental education program or a high ropes challenge course that could be used by public schools, then we have a new lease on life. I am personally an advocate for doing both. Just as with our churches, to have this beautiful facility sitting empty five days out of seven three-quarters of the year is a sin. If we can develop ministries that are in keeping with Silver Lake's ministry and the mission of the United Church of Christ, then we have added value to God's world and to the lives of hundreds of people. Then we have also added value to Silver Lake as well.

You can help. Who do you know in the UCC that teaches science or environmental education? We'd like to find a few folks who could serve on an advisory team. And who do you know who is responsible for middle school enrichment programs like challenge courses? We will need to network to invite schools to use Silver Lake when we get the challenge course built. By the way, if you know someone who could contribute, I've taken on the challenge of raising $50,000 this year to build that high ropes course. I'm up to $8,500 so far!

Silver Lake, youth ministries, and urban ministry - aren't they juicy challenges to have? This Conference can take pride in the ministry and mission God has set before us. We are an energy center for the whole United Church of Christ. Let's focus some of that energy now to take some major steps that can make the future very different, and not only for ourselves.

God is calling us through the grieving we have needed to do, inviting us to establish trust and build relationships. God is calling us to seek the shalom of the city, to empower our youth in ministry, to be excellent stewards of the assets we have been given in Silver Lake. Oh, there are so many opportunities and challenges - let us give thanks to God for every one of them! Amen.

Davida Foy Crabtree
Conference Minister
Connecticut Conference
United Church of Christ
October 15, 1999